My head is spinning...

I was soooo dizzy today. I kind of thought it had something to do with not taking my medication for over a day since I forgot to bring some down with me. I managed to get a lot done regardless though. I did advanced Taebo today. Man, was I sweating. I did pretty well, I was proud of myself. The only thing about Billy Blanks that bugs me is the constant counting, but I guess it's there for a reason. I did that for 35 minutes and then did toning on my shoulders, back and legs.

I had a pretty good day. I spent 2 hours cleaning my dad's garage. I kept active all day long even with not feeling too well.

I kicked ass on my eating today! Wahoo! Btw, 2 pieces of licorice has 140 calories. Eek! Not a light snack at all. I resisted pizza and ice cream cravings today. I don't know why I've struggled with cravings so much the past couple of days. It might be because I didn't take my flaxseed oil either day.

I'm watching Oprah right now and they're discussing how african americans struggle with being black. It's very interesting. I can't imagine dealing with that scrutiny from others, even others of the same skin color. Self-worth is such a hard thing to gain and maintain. I have dealt with it all my life. Growing up overweight and being made fun constantly really took a toll on me. And the verbal abuse I got from my father made it even worse. My low self-worth got me into 2 really bad relationships in the past couple of years and even allowed someone of real negativity bring me down. I thought she was my friend, but she wasn't. Coming off of probably the lowest time of my life after my last relationship was extremely difficult. I was in so much pain. I had so many people make me wrong for making mistakes. But somehow, I managed to stay focused on my end goals, stay strong, dig deep and now I feel solid. I still have emotional breakdowns, but they are far and few between these days. I am so enjoying being a strong woman. For the first time, I know what I want and I won't stop until I get it.

I am kind of scared to weigh myself tomorrow morning. I only have 3 days before the fat burning contest is over. I really want to be under 240 by then. After that, I have 3 months to get under 200. I noticed today that I feel better when I count calories. I've kind of slacked off the past week and it makes me weary and uneasy. I'm going to make it a point to count everyday. It helps me stay focused.

Ok, off to bed!