Inner Strenth

I had a blow to my career yesterday when I was let go from my job. I have had quite a struggle at this particular firm, but decided to stick it out and work through the challenges as opposed to moving elsewhere. It's funny because I have turned down more than one job offer during my 2 and a half years at KPFF, but kept giving KPFF a chance to prove themselves to be a firm I could see myself at for a few years.

Ever since I came to KPFF, I felt like I was in a deep rabbit hole, trying to dig my way up to the surface and get the respect and appreciation I deserved. I never got there, no matter how hard I tried or worked. I am baffled. I have never worked so hard and for the team I worked for to do nothing, but put me down because I'm not where they think I should be ate at my soul.

I feel like KPFF failed me. I had struggled with the idea of working with that team because I didn't feel that they were the kind of people I want to work for. I am more relieved that I don't have to be associated with those kind of engineers.

I made so many great friends, especially Matt, at KPFF and wouldn't take away my time there. I do; however, wish I would have made the move before they did. I stayed so long because of the people, instead of taking care of my career and I learned the hard way that that is not a reason to stay at a firm.

I'm excited to see what opportunities await me, but I'm also scared. I feel an inner strength arising that I haven't felt in a long time. And if this is what needed to happen to kind of wake me up, instead of being comfortable, than I am glad it happened.

I'm sure I'll have at least one job offer tomorrow from the calls I made yesterday, but I hope I get to take a little time off before stepping back into work. I need it.